The author of this novel is John Keith Laumer. You can read this complete novel online and download the PDF file here.

\”The Consul for the Terrestrial States,\” Retief said, \”presents his compliments, et
cetera, to the Ministry of Culture of the Groacian Autonomy, and with reference
to the Ministry\’s invitation to attend a recital of interpretive grimacing, has the
honor to express regret that he will be unable—\”
\”You can\’t turn this invitation down,\” Administrative Assistant Meuhl said flatly.
\”I\’ll make that \’accepts with pleasure\’.\”
Retief exhaled a plume of cigar smoke.

\”Miss Meuhl,\” he said, \”in the past couple of weeks I\’ve sat through six light-
concerts, four attempts at chamber music, and god knows how many assorted

folk-art festivals. I\’ve been tied up every off-duty hour since I got here—\”
\”You can\’t offend the Groaci,\” Miss Meuhl said sharply. \”Consul Whaffle would
never have been so rude.\”
\”Whaffle left here three months ago,\” Retief said, \”leaving me in charge.\”
\”Well,\” Miss Meuhl said, snapping off the dictyper. \”I\’m sure I don\’t know what
excuse I can give the Minister.\”